In which Mother invades personal space

I enlisted Mother to join me on a bikini-hunt. Now, I am quite a savvy shopper and rarely encounter the typical female-shopper problems. However, when it comes to bathing suit shopping, I find it highly-stressful and mostly disappointing. Purely because, for some obscure reason, Spain only design 'bandeau' style tops (which are not for me) with no other options. Also, it is rather lucky to find any bikini tops at all, considering the majority of women over here sunbathe topless. I will not be adjusting to this carefree way of bathing. Some things simply must remain British and reserved.

Anyway, on our final leg of the quest, I begrudgingly took whatever Mother was handing me to try on and walked to the changing rooms.

The shop is rather small, with two fabric-curtained little changing cubicles situated in the centre of the shop just before the main changing rooms. The two curtained cubicles were occupied but I chose the more private, main section and wandered inside. Within a minute of grumpily changing I heard a vibrant, familiarly shrill holler;

"DARLING!!!!!!"

"DARLING!"

Ah. There she is. Bringing me more unsuitable bathing suit choices for me to prance around in. I peer out of the door, expecting to see Mother shaking items at me. Instead I see nobody within a few feet, so I look further... beyond the changing room entrance and into the store.

"Darrrrrlinggg! Sweetie! Are you ready?? LET ME SEEEEE!"

Oh dear. There she is. There she really is. Standing closely outside one of the curtained changing cubicles with her nose submerged in the joining of the curtains, muffling something about sizing.

I alert her to my whereabouts;

"Mother, I'm here... I'M HERE!"

"YES DARLING I KNOW..." *Mother replies into the curtained cubicle*

"No, no... HERE!" *my head has now poked outside of my door, trying to attract Mother's attention without attracting the whole store*

"I'm not quite ready yet.... what have you got in your hands?!"  I say, as my eyes fall upon an assortment of interesting colours and shapes spilling out of Mother's arms. However, Mother's vision is clearly deteriorating and she has not spotted my head. Also, her ears have not detected the location from which my voice is coming. 

"Darling!!! Look what I've f---"....

At this point, I witness Mother transferring her collection of items into the opening of the curtained cubicle she is still standing beside. As her hand grasps the curtain, her head immediately disappears inside the cubicle.

I hear a gasp and a shriek.

"Oh! OH DARLING YOU'RE NOT... DARLING? DARLING? WHAT? Oh I'm so sorry! Oh dear, I'm sorry, excuse me... PARDONNNAAA! PERDONNNAA! PARDON... A... "

Excellent.

Finally, Mother spots me as she bursts back out of the poor girl's changing cubicle. She bounds her way over to me as I try quickly to shuffle back inside my door but Mother has already attracted the attention of the store and now, as she trots over towards me, everyone knows that she is my responsibility and I have mistakenly let her loose.

xoxo