Personality Doppleganger

Really, I could write about several women who could kidnap Mother and assume her identity and I would be none the wiser. However, over the last few months I have found the most likely candidate; Beverly Goldberg. Some of you may already know who Beverly is but for those of you who aren't familiar;

Beverly Goldberg was the real smotherer, according to her son, Adam. Amazingly not a fictional character; she is a real human with three children; 11-year-old Adam and teenagers Barry and Erica. I would like to share with you a few of Beverly's quotes from various episodes as a reminder to you all that this is an accurate account of what I deal with every day.  

Watching an episode this morning, I began to wonder if Mother had a strong input in the script of this show. Beverly's son, Adam, asks his mom for $2000 for a water bed and a decorative samurai sword to hang above his bed because "chicks dig it".

"A samurai sword will fall off the wall in the middle of the night, poke your eye out, puncture the mattress, and then you'll drown in your sleep."

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Beverly and Erica are browsing through college brochures;

"Stanford's just so far away. I wouldn't be able to just pop in on the weekends, and hang out with you and your girlfriends and try on clothes and then have you take me to the local college pubs, where you introduce me as your older sister Barbie to the cute TA's."

Erica suggests Hawaii instead;

"You're not going to school in Hawaii. It's surrounded by sharks"

... & here we see the beginnings of the safety conscious Mother.

Mother's are, of course, concerned for  their child's safety. There is 'concerned' and then there is 'Beverly'.

Murray, Beverly's husband, speaks about Adam's ice hockey game;

"Why don't you just skate around with him all game and make sure he stay's safe?"

"I know you're joking but I would do that if the situation presented itself."

More discussions over 'dangerous activities';

"But you know what's gonna make it even more fun? Protective cornea goggles, because Sue Engelmann's son lost his eye to a laser beam."

Mother's always have a tragic tale to warn us about the dangers of everything;

"That's what Esther Carp's son said and he got a big toe right in his eye. Now he can't see color. Is that what you want?" 

"Helen Cutler's son was in a wrestling match once and his head popped right off and now he lives his life as just a head."

  

As strong as Beverly's passion was for safety, it was equally as strong for authority. 
Coincidentally, I've started calling Mother 'Bev'.


In an episode where Adam tries to get out of sports class, Beverly actively supports her son and sends him to school with a note, authorizing him to be released from any physical activity. The note is not accepted by the Coach. Equally, the rejection is not accepted by Beverly and determination hits as she strives to get what she wants. Obviously. Beverly presents Adam with a letter to take to the Coach;

"It's from the secretary to the undersecretary to the president, who's the best friend of the lieutenant governor's cousin who just wanted to get me out of the office, but it's got the presidential seal, so it's official." 

Perhaps a Mother's hidden manta is; "you CAN always get what you want" ... as long as the 'you' is actually only ever 'Mother'.

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The tip of the iceberg, one might say. Indeed, there are plenty more indistinguishable accounts from The Goldbergs (ie every single time Beverly appears on screen) but I shall save them for another post. 


xoxo