I am still buzzing
with rage from this experience, so brace yourselves for some profanity (sorry).
Last week, I had to
make the difficult effort to travel to a specific electronic store; 'Media Markt' in a shopping mall in order
to return another piece of technology . I say 'difficult' because I had to
'public transport' my way, with the assistance of Mother wheeling me around.
During my short stint as a temporarily-disabled human, I have learnt the many hidden
issues that disabled people face every day. I am actually grateful to have had
the experience.
So, here I am with
Mother in Media Markt patiently waiting for Carlos the TV expert to finish
helping an old couple choose their screen. I notice that Carlos is
demonstrating the USB slot functions in the side of a TV... by using the
couple's personal USB stick. All of a sudden, a large album of photos appear on
this large screen. Amongst the photos of their grandchildren, I spot a slightly
grim image of the wife. Naked. In a bath. In a foetal position. Swiftly I wheel
myself away and try to find Mother. Mother is browsing in another section and
then we notice Carlos is just about to be available, so we make our way over to
him.
Carlos is lovely (he
only speaks Spanish so I am the translator). Having been in discussions over
Sony vs Samsung for about five minutes, I hear a squawk from afar; "I just
have one question oh my GOD". At this point, this noise has not registered
with me because a) honestly I don't think it's got anything to do with me and
b) because I can't easily turn around to see what's going on (wheelchair,
remember?).
A few moments later,
the squawk is significantly louder and I realise this noise is closer to me
than I originally thought.
"Hey! I just have
one question! I've been here an hour oh my God! Just one question so I can
gooooooo!!"
The voice vibrates around my head and I recognise it to be
foreign. Not Spanish and not English but a different ...specific... nationality I shall not mention.
Okay, this woman is having a stressed day, clearly.
Is she talking to us three? Probably not. Because that would be rude, wouldn't
it? To interrupt. I forget about it. Although, I notice Carlos looks up. His
face is graced with concern but remains calm and I see him look above my head
and explain with only his hands that he is busy and will attend to her when
he's finished with us. Mother is beside me and I see her look behind at this
loud woman in slight shock.
I cannot see what's
going on behind me but my ears are alert.
"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY NOT GOING TO LET ME ASK JUST ONE QUESTIONNNNNN???"
Okay. The lunatic is right behind me now.
"You're just
talking about TVs I have one question about a car radio oh my GODD!"
I can hear her jangly
gold jewellery. I can also, unfortunately, feel my ears shattering a tiny bit
because she's yelling. Right behind me. Literally.
Carlos is perplexed at
this... mental case in front of him.
Mother politely smiles
at her and quietly says; "Look. Don't shout at me, it's not my problem. Go
and complain to Media Markt about the wait."
"IT'S JUST ONE
QUESTION FOR GOD'S SAKE OH MY F**KING GOD"
Oh great, she's even
louder. Her pitch has risen by like... a hundred, too.
Carlos is silent. I
see him observe the jungle scene behind me with concern. He looks at me and
tells me not to worry. Bless him.
The crazy hyena is
moving in. She's moving in and I can feel her behind me.
Mother calmly says;
"Please remove yourself from my vicinity" and turns back to
Carlos. (what? what? calmly? Yes, I know - I don't know how
this has happened but evidently, today our roles reversed and Mother has zero
rage.)
"Are you f**king
seriously not going to let me ask one question???? I'VE BEEN HERE AN HOUR OH MY
GOD ARE YOU JOKING OH MY GOD YOU ARE ---"
This b*tch is now
screaming like a wild animal at my
Mother... and poor Carlos!
All of a sudden, I
lose it. I whip my steaming head right around to face this Gucci-padded, turnip
of a bleached-blonde Barbie.
"EXCUUUUUUUSE ME?!?!?!?" I actually yell
at her with my beetroot-face.
"EXCUSE MEEEE?! DON'T YELL AT HER!!!!!" I
aggressively point my finger to Mother whilst growling at this crazy brat.
"AND HE DOESN'T
EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!! HE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISHHHHHH!!!!!!" I roar at her,
whilst pointing at Carlos.
"BACK OFF!!!!!!!" I shout at her.
"I DON´T CARE HE
DOESN´T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH! I DON´T CARE!" This woman is psychotic. And
stupid. Very, very stupid.
I feel like I have
just exploded 24 years-worth of rage!
Mother then bends down
to hold my giant, red face. "Darling, don't get stressed" she says to
me, before turning to the hyena and saying; "she can't get stressed, it
makes her worse!!"
Which - disclaimer - is 100% true. The stress
tenses up my muscles and locks my neck and jaw, trapping nerves and all sorts.
Then, as if my mind
hadn't already been blown by this tantrum-adult, Barbie arrogantly huffs;
"Oh, she'll
live!"
I nearly choked.
I hear her turn on her
heel, defeated. As she turns, she says;
"She's only in a
f**king wheelchair."
....
With this, my jaw
drops. I have no words. What? Is she joking????
Carlos doesn't really
understand what has happened but he is very sympathetic. He is so lovely.
Mother is worried about my blood boiling over and out of my ears as she bends
down and comforts me. I can't believe how calm Mother is, I am impressed. I
can't believe I flew off the handle. The medication must have transformed me.
Oh, also - just N.B. -
upon leaving the store, I notice Barbie and her dopy drip of a fiancé asking way more than "just one
question" to Carlos.
Oh my God I feel like
I've been in a warped episode of TOWIE without the margaritas.
xoxo
